The wedding vows are the most tender and real moments of the wedding ceremony. It’s the time when the ceremonial component of the wedding ends and the bride and groom speak with their own voice. It’s a time when each shares their own words with the other, as well as all those in attendance. There is always the question of whether or not to write your own vows. Should you write something on your own? Should you ‘wing it’ and just speak to whatever comes to mind? Or should you rely on one of the many great writers in history? Let’s explore!

Writing Something on Your Own

This is a great option if there are things that must be said that you absolutely do not want to forget. If there are memories, or promises, or people that you want to mention during the vow then you should definitely be ready to write up some notes at the very least. If you have terrible stage fright or know yourself well enough to understand that you’ll be petrified when the microphone gets passed to you, then you should absolutely think about writing your own vows. There’s a lot of merits in doing this as you’ll be able to make sure it sounds great, you’ll be able to practice it beforehand and you’ll be able to say exactly what you prepared. If you decide not to write out the whole thing, you can always write up the vows in note form and just make good bullet-points of the things you want to say. It might even boil down to writing keywords that remind you of the things that you want to be a part of your vow. There’s no shame in writing your own vow and bringing it on a paper to the wedding. It’s *your* wedding so do what you want and plenty of people go down this route because it’s the best way to make sure you give an eloquent, meaningful vow during your wedding.

Just Winging It

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of winging anything in life. However, the wedding vows on my day were made up on the spot. How did they come out? Wonderful! Clearly, you’ll have ideas in your head of all the things you want to say and will even practice out loud some of the important parts of what you want to say. There’s some merit to just putting your head and heart out there for everyone to see and simply sharing what’s in your heart at that big moment. If you are not afraid of crowds or speaking in public, this route can be highly recommended. You might surprise yourself at how well you do!

Great Writers

I’d recommend going this route if you simply are terrified of writing and speaking, meaning the first two options won’t work for you. A lot of people can communicate well, but simply not through the written form and being able to wing it on the spot is too terrifying a thought to try. This third option can also be just as good as the first two. Take this amazing piece from William Shakespeare:

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a stay: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven doth shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d; But thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou owest: As long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee.”

Gorgeous, right? Finding the right sonnet or poem, or even religious verse, can be breathtaking and meaningful as a wedding vow. In the end, the choice is up to you, so consider all your options if you are about to get married and you’re considering to write your own wedding vows. Good luck!

Resident wedding day expert Niloufar Gibson has written a few articles giving tips to brides about what to bring on their wedding day. All the “just in case” stuff a bride can totally forget in the chaos of the day of her wedding that she wished she remembered can make the day go so much smoother. But what about the other side of the coin? For the grooms out there, should they be worried about what to bring to the their wedding? Absolutely!

Grooming Items

You should always be prepared to be absolutely well groomed for the day of your wedding. If this means that you have a thick five-o’clock shadow around 2:30 pm, then you should bring along a razor for a shave. Chances are your venue will have a nice bathroom for you to use, so make sure you look your best. Also, let’s face it, if your wedding is going to be in the summer you might be sweating… a lot. Make sure you bring your deodorant with you because the last thing your bride will want to do after hours of the ceremony and reception is dance with a stinky new husband. There’s also small things like making sure your nails are well manicured because there’ll be pictures of just your hands that you don’t want looking terrible because you happen to be a slob.

Keep that Breath Fresh!

Through the day you’ll be eating, drinking, talking, and then doing more eating, more talking and maybe have time for a cigar in between. Again, with so many people coming up to congratulate you, be sure to remember that the wedding day and reception can be a long one, so be prepared. Nobody wants to chat with a groom with horrible bad breath and your new bride certainly won’t want to kiss him either! There are a few ways to keep your breath fresh, starting with a good pack of gum, then a little pack of breath-mints  or even the clear strips that stick to the roof of your mouth. If you have a groom’s bathroom you can retire to for quick breaks, keep a travel-sized bottle in there to really do the trick.

Extra Set of Clothes

Sure, the groom will be in a tux, but if that summer heat comes down and he starts sweating, even all the deodorant in the world isn’t going to help him. Grooms, the best thing to do is to bring an extra set of undergarments to change into if things get dicey. Your sweat will mostly be trapped by this level of your garb, so swapping it out can really make you feel fresher and a lot less stinky. Also,  depending on the wedding and what is happening after the reception you might want to bring an appropriate change of clothes if you happen to be hopping on an airplane right after!

Miscellaneous Items

Make sure you bring your cell phone, it’ll come in handy helping people get to the wedding. Yes, people who are coming to your wedding will not have the courtesy to call the best man or wedding planner to get directions, they will just figure you have nothing better to do than to answer your phone and give directions. Making sure you have your cell phone is one thing, but don’t answer it yourself! Make sure one of your groomsmen or best man is in charge of your cell phone and can filter through the calls. What always goes with a cell phone? The charger – so don’t forget that either. Other smart little things to bring include some cash (you never know), an extra set of dressy shoes, a comb for your hair, and any medications that you happen to take.

One of the most important duties a friend can bestow on another friend is to ask him to plan a bachelor party. In an ideal world, you only get one of these in life, so it’d better be something special. While many people might assume the worst (watch “Bachelor Party” with Tom Hanks) or the worst case scenario (see “The Hangover”), chances are the Bachelor Party won’t be all that crazy. Why? Because more often than not the Best Man does something smart – actually plans a bachelor party that the groom-to-be wants. That’s a good thing because nobody wants a miserable and awkward bachelor party. Here are some good tips if you are planning a big night.

Don’t Surprise Anyone

While everyone loves a surprise birthday party, chances are not everyone is going to like a surprise bachelor party. A lot of the fun behind the party is just the anticipation that it’s coming. Why deny yourself and the attendees the enjoyment of that? Also, there’s no way to accurate plan a party and know how it’s going to go without proper intelligence work beforehand. Maybe the groom won’t be psyched for your idea of his perfect bachelor party. Maybe some of the guests are allergic to the food you plan (or the restaurant) on serving. Maybe something comes up at his job and he can’t even make it! Be a bro and plan things out the right way and embrace the countdown while considering all the details that make for a successful event.

Ask the Groom What He Wants

This is the absolute most critical thing you should do if you’re planning the bachelor party. Asking the groom what he wants to do will allow you to create the perfect party for him (not for you). It might be that he wants to have one last crazy night, but chances are, it’ll be some activity that you haven’t even thought of only to be shared between him and his close friends. Maybe he just wants to go fishing for a weekend. It could be that he wants to go tailgate, attend a local sporting event (baseball, football, basketball, hockey, pro wrestling), and head back for a game of poker with the boys. Whatever it is, chances are you don’t know what it is off the top of your head, so don’t try to live to a stereotype and throw some wild night “just because” – just give the guy what he wants.

Plan it Well in Advance

Try not to throw something together at the last second. Guys really look forward to these things and being able to plan out well in advance is a huge factor in a successful party. This way, the guys can make their plans (both personally and professionally) to ensure that they can attend. It’s a huge bummer if one of the groom’s best friends can’t attend because of poorly put together last-second plans!

Have Fun and Be Smart

Have fun. Just not too much, right? Whether you plan a wild night out or just decide to kick it at your home for a poker night, make sure if you’ve planned the party you remain in charge. This means watching out for potential drunk drivers and arranging for cabs if someone’s had a few too many, which is practically inevitable. Also make sure everyone is behaving, because a visit from the local police department will ruin (and end) any bachelor party.