Should You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

The wedding vows are the most tender and real moments of the wedding ceremony. It’s the time when the ceremonial component of the wedding ends and the bride and groom speak with their own voice. It’s a time when each shares their own words with the other, as well as all those in attendance. There is always the question of whether or not to write your own vows. Should you write something on your own? Should you ‘wing it’ and just speak to whatever comes to mind? Or should you rely on one of the many great writers in history? Let’s explore!

Writing Something on Your Own

This is a great option if there are things that must be said that you absolutely do not want to forget. If there are memories, or promises, or people that you want to mention during the vow then you should definitely be ready to write up some notes at the very least. If you have terrible stage fright or know yourself well enough to understand that you’ll be petrified when the microphone gets passed to you, then you should absolutely think about writing your own vows. There’s a lot of merits in doing this as you’ll be able to make sure it sounds great, you’ll be able to practice it beforehand and you’ll be able to say exactly what you prepared. If you decide not to write out the whole thing, you can always write up the vows in note form and just make good bullet-points of the things you want to say. It might even boil down to writing keywords that remind you of the things that you want to be a part of your vow. There’s no shame in writing your own vow and bringing it on a paper to the wedding. It’s *your* wedding so do what you want and plenty of people go down this route because it’s the best way to make sure you give an eloquent, meaningful vow during your wedding.

Just Winging It

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of winging anything in life. However, the wedding vows on my day were made up on the spot. How did they come out? Wonderful! Clearly, you’ll have ideas in your head of all the things you want to say and will even practice out loud some of the important parts of what you want to say. There’s some merit to just putting your head and heart out there for everyone to see and simply sharing what’s in your heart at that big moment. If you are not afraid of crowds or speaking in public, this route can be highly recommended. You might surprise yourself at how well you do!

Great Writers

I’d recommend going this route if you simply are terrified of writing and speaking, meaning the first two options won’t work for you. A lot of people can communicate well, but simply not through the written form and being able to wing it on the spot is too terrifying a thought to try. This third option can also be just as good as the first two. Take this amazing piece from William Shakespeare:

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a stay: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven doth shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d; But thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou owest: As long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee.”

Gorgeous, right? Finding the right sonnet or poem, or even religious verse, can be breathtaking and meaningful as a wedding vow. In the end, the choice is up to you, so consider all your options if you are about to get married and you’re considering to write your own wedding vows. Good luck!

William Sanai
William Sanai works at Perfectly Made Weddings as an Assistant Wedding Coordinator.
William Sanai

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