Top Three Tips for Un-Inviting a Wedding Guest

July 24, 2014 Leave a Comment

So you’ve got too many rsvp’s- yikes! If you’ve only got the budget or space for a certain number of people and too many say they’ll be there it can come down to a harsh reality- you’ll have to un-invite some guests. This is absolutely no fun, but it does happen. We’re here to help you get through it.

Be Honest

If there’s no way of sugar coating it- don’t. There’s nothing wrong with being honest. In fact, it’s the best way to handle any situation- tough or otherwise. There can be a better way to approach it, but your subject matter should always be rooted in honesty. Think about why you have to cut the headcount- is it money? is it the space? Whatever it is, work out the best way to phrase it. Ask your fiance to help you out and back you up. Try having the conversation with each other to make it easier. Just be honest and don’t change your mind. Once someone’s cut, they’re cut!

Offer an Alternative

While you can’t have them at the official wedding or reception, ask for a dinner or brunch. Say that you want to celebrate privately in place of the large ceremony and plan on a different sort of get together. While you’re explaining why you have to un-invite that guest, you can follow up with scheduling a different time to celebrate. This can also help you while you’re explaining- you can mention that you’d prefer a more private time to celebrate and share this moment in your life with this guest. For the most part, your friends and family want to go to your wedding because they want to support you and they’re happy for you. Remember that and work out another time to celebrate and share.

Follow Up with a Thank You

After the conversation about un-inviting, it can be good to follow up with them to ensure it wasn’t out of bad blood. After you un-invite someone, it is just good manners to extend some sort of love their way. It can be tacky to send them a wedding thank you card (definitely DON’T send them pictures from the wedding they were un-invited to), but send a short handwritten card just thanking them for understanding. No need for frills or anything crazy, but show that you do appreciate their flexibility and that they are still meaningful in their life. Be gracious and kind, it always pays off in the end.

 

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Three Tactful Ways to Say “No” to Wedding Guests

June 19, 2014 Leave a Comment

Weddings are fantastic- but keep in mind, if you’re the bride then it’s your show! It can be hard to say ‘no’ to your wedding guests, but at the end of the day your word should be final. We’ve got tactful ways to get out of certain scenarios.

When a Guest Wants to Bring An Extra Person

Maybe your brother rsvp’d as a single, but suddenly wants his new girlfriend (or worse- his old frat buddy) to be his plus-one. Yikes! What do you do? Simply explain to him that the meal count and chairs have already been locked in. Even if he says that his plus one won’t be hungry, he really can’t get around not having anywhere for his plus one to sit. If you want to extend a sweet gesture, you can tell him that if anyone suddenly can’t make it you can give him a heads up, but say that the guest list is pretty much locked in.

When an Out-of-Town Guest Wants to Crash on Your Couch

You’re going to be busy enough with your own wedding craziness to deal with any couch surfers- do NOT put the burden of hosting out of towners on top of everything! Instead of ok-ing everyone that wants a free place to crash, just explain that you don’t have the space to house any out-of-towners. You can say that if you let one person crash, you’d need to let everyone crash and you simply don’t have room. You can say that you’re using your house to house a lot of the wedding craziness so the whole place is going to be a mess. You can also suggest nearby hotels for any guests who may need it. Just be firm- you really don’t need any friends raiding your fridge while you’re planning a wedding!

When a Guest Wants to Bring Kids (and it’s not a kid-friendly wedding)

Sure, kids are cute and sweet, but weddings aren’t always where a kid has the most fun. If you’re throwing a wedding that’s aimed at an adults-only crowd, it can be hard to explain to adults not to bring their little ones. If anyone’s trying to bring their little ones to the grown up’s table, simply explain to them that the event will be a more mature event and that it may not be kid-paced. Parents understand how a kid’s attention span works and may take that as it won’t be engaging enough for younger ones. You can also mention that there will be liquor and you wouldn’t want any unattended drinks to end up in the hands of any children (mai tais always look fun to younger kids…). Safety is always a priority for parents, and you want to frame this as you looking out for their best interest.

 

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Five Tips on Writing Wedding Invites

April 6, 2014 Leave a Comment

Your save the dates are out and you’re all set on a venue- you’re ready to send out invites! But where do you start? We’ve got five big tips on writing out the most important invitations you’ll ever send out.

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Do Research

Check out other invitations before you start yours- it’ll definitely give you ideas! You can find out what you like and what you don’t like which will give you lots of direction. Check out invites online, or any that your friends have from previous weddings. While you’re doing research, write down what you like and what you don’t like. It can be as vague as liking couple pictures in the invite to as specific as the size of the font of the return labels. Just figure out what you like and don’t, and work from there.

Collaborate

They’re not just your invites afterall- they’re your fiance’s as well! You should both be involved in writing your invitations.  Proofreading verbiage with another person can be a great way to workshop. Both of you should read your invitations out loud to each other so you can catch any sentences that sound off. Be open to any criticism or critique too; it could be the difference between an awesome and an awkward invite.

Be Specific

While there is some leeway with verbiage, there are a few sections of the invite that need to be specific. Explicitly state the address (not just the landmark/venue), time, and dress code. You don’t want your nephew to show up at your black tie wedding in shorts and sandals. It’s important to specify the exact addresses and not just the venue name or cross-streets. It’ll help you avoid getting frantic calls from out of town relatives who are lost somewhere in your city. Be sure that the address is easy to read (i.e., save the fancy cursive for later) and the address works in google maps.

Personalize

Each card should have the guest’s name(s) explicitly stated. It’s ok if the name part is handwritten, just make sure each invite is personalized. On the other end, write your invites with your couple personality in mind. If you’re both jokesters, make it cute and light to reflect that. If you’re a power couple, focus on how awesome your upcoming union will be. Including pictures from your engagement shoot or generally sweet photos of you two being adorable is a great way to hype up guests for the wedding.

Guide your Guests

Your guests may need some loose ideas on what to bring- give them some guidance! State where you’re registered, or if you’d prefer something instead of a gift off your list. Many couples are requesting donations be made to charities in their honor in lieu of a traditional wedding gift lately, which is an awesome trend and way to give back. You will also want to put in your preferred method of R.S.V.P.. If you have a wedding e-mail address setup (which we suggest!), route any questions or R.S.V.P.’s that way. This way you don’t get your personal (or even worse-work) phone blown up asking questions on what shoes would be appropriate.

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Seven Do’s and Dont’s of Writing Wedding Vows

March 5, 2014 Leave a Comment

I love weddings. I love everything about them. It is no surprise that I am pretty obsessed with them. What I really love is the wedding ceremony. The time where bride and groom share their love with their closest friends and family, or with just each other. It is really a special and beautiful moment. Typically, bride and grooms exchange a few lovely words with each other. Some couples like to repeat the vows from the officiant, or some like to share their personal vows. What I love the most is the vows that are personally written by the couple. That is the best!

If you are a bride or groom who wants to write their own vows, we got some fabulous tips to help you out.  We asked our amazing friend and officiant, Alan Katz of Great Officiants  to provide us with the do’s and dont’s of writing wedding vows. He gives us some pretty amazing tips, which we think every bride and groom should consider when writing their wedding vows.

1. Do short repeated vows to lead into personalized words. This will give the you and  the guests the lead in to know that it is “vow time”.

2. Don’t write promise vows, “I promise this and that” because no one keeps their vows and also everyone had heard it all before. It is time to be a bit creative and unique.

3. Instead of writing “Vows” write “Your” story. Like any good story, use a beginning, middle,  and end. “when I first met you I felt this way”,”our life together has been this”, “our future is this”. This way, it is a story you know. It comes off more genuine. It shows the passion and emotion of you as a couple.

4. Make vows  similar in length. Set a word or length together so it does not sound lopsided. Make it in first person.

5. Don’t handwrite it. Type it on the computer and print it on to a 4×6 index card so it doesn’t flap in the wind or make crinkle sounds. If you fold it up and stuff it down your top or inside pocket it will really look shabby. Give it to the Officiant prior to the start of the ceremony so they can hand it to you to read.

6. Best way to display your vows? You can print it onto a nice piece of paper and place it in a picture frame. When it it time for your vows the Officiant will hand you the frame and you can read it off the frame. Then place the frame on the cake table for your guests to see, and then you can hang it on your wall at home.  This is an elegant way to do it and allows the vows to be seen and remembered for years to come.

7. Practice your vows a couple times before the ceremony to make sure it flows. When you finally read your feelings to your spouse, your  emotions will tell the story. Your guests will get a bird’s eye insight into your love story and the feelings you share will set the tone for the rest of the wedding.

No matter how you decide to do your vows make them special to you.

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