Writing your own vows has become more and more popular over the last few years, and with reason! It’s a great way to express how you feel and what your relationship is like in a personal, honest way. It can also be one of the most challenging, important tasks you can take on while organizing a wedding. Don’t let this task be daunting though, it’s completely doable! We know it can be hard to express how you feel, and we’re here to help.
Look Back Before You Move Forward
Before you even start drafting, go through photo albums (aka, Facebook for most of you!) of adventures the two of you have taken. Look back at your favorite times together, look back at your engagement photos. What made those times special? Were your favorite times together when you were doing something daring, like exploring a new city? Or was it something creative, like painting or building something together? Zero in on what moments in your relationship made you really fall in love with each other. Take notes on when you felt most in love and connected to your special someone. This will be the basis for your vows.
Find Your Theme
Once you’ve gone through your favorite times together, go from there. Think about what kind of couple you are together. Where your best moments romantic? Adventurous? Silly? Daring? Whatever it is, keep that word in mind while you write. This will be the key theme in your vows. Every couple is different, so it’s good to play to what makes you special as a couple.
Think Big and Narrow it Down
Once you have a vow, write it down and write different key examples down underneath it. It can help to write out specific stories under that word. Of course, keep it to G-rated and non-embarrassing stories (your parents will hear it- keep it family friendly!). From the stories, think about those special moments when you looked over and realized this was the person you were going to marry. Those special, intimate moments are the ones that make or break a couple and are a great source for your vows. Think back to them and think about what specifically you felt and what made you feel that way (are you feeling warm and fuzzy yet?).
Now that you have a love theme and some special moments to back it up, throw it all together! It can help to type things out as bullet points. If everything is typed, you can move sentences and bullet points around without having to cross things out, erase things, or get out more paper. Remember to open by addressing the vows, then go into the relationship. You can go into what your fiance means to you, what your love means, how you make each other feel, how you’ve changed each other’s lives, etc. Figure out what’s most important to you and work from there. Organize all your bullet points in order of what flow you feel would work best. Do you want to tell a story, then go into its’ impact on your life? Do you want to start with a generality then go into what you mean to each other? Go with what feels right until it sounds right to you.
Focus and Make it Count
Just remember if you’re feeling overwhelmed- this is all a labor of love (literally!). It can be very easy to be overwhelmed when you’re sharing something as intimate and personal with not only your partner, but with your friends and family. If you need help, look up some vows online or watch videos of ceremonies for inspiration. Read as many love letters as you can. Just keep it all about love and if you get frustrated, take breaks. Something as special and personal as vows deserve time and care. Keep it focused and don’t cut corners. This matters and it’ll be the most important love letter you ever write- make it count!